Double Dose Daddy's Girl

Three years ago today my life changed forever. At the age of 57 my dad passed away after fighting cancer for six short months. Everything happened so quickly. I remember it all so vividly as if it just occurred. I was speaking life and believing God's word for his healing. Within those six months things got really hard for me. I was in Atlanta and he was in Michigan. We went from talking daily to not being able to talk at all (We talked daily every since I went off to college in '02). Although my mom kept me updated & relayed messages between us; this wasn't what I wanted to get use to.

Being the spoiled daddy's girl that I am; I couldn't dare imagine what life would be like without him. I mean he hadn't even walked me down the aisle yet! I remember joking with a friend saying, "If my dad passes I'm going to jump in the casket with him. I just wasn't ready! "The title "Daddy's Little Girl"  I wore well as I was truly his princess. I could count on him for any and everything. There was no fear! I was the girl who would think if you do ______ (anything), "I'm gone call my daddy" lol. I was secure in knowing he had my back no matter what. That he always wanted the best for me. Yet I also knew he didn't play. There were definitely rules in the "McKinnie" household. His love for me was undeniable. For me, there was no love like a fathers love and no connection like father/daughter.

On January 10, 2008 I cried out to God fa real fa real. Crying, snotting and all saying, "God I really don't want you to take my dad but if that's your will then I'm going to have to be ok with it because I know you don't make mistakes... just keep me." I was convinced at this point the testimony was going to be my dad being healed or God healing me. That night/morning my dad passed. To this day I believe amongst other things that God was waiting to hear that prayer from me before his passing.

I wondered was my faith not strong enough, did I not pray enough and even asked why my dad?  That's the most tragic thing I've ever experienced. It was as if my heart was torn out! I had lost so much by losing one person. Words & sentences could never express that feeling. However, I write today as a living testimony that God heals, comforts & wipes teary eyes. Yes, I still cry and get sad. Matter of fact I shed many tears yesterday. Crying and snotting all over again, lol. Yet, I'm still standing!

Like my earthly father God takes good care of me. You may think the comparison is strange because my dad was here physically. However... God listens, talks to me, laughs with me and without a doubt has my back. I know when I call on Him, He's there. I'm secure in knowing, He cares so much for me & always wants the best for me. He too disciplines me and tells me no when needed. His love for me is far pass what I could ever imagine. He tell me He loves me and that I'm special to Him. He walks ahead of me preparing the way; Behind me protecting me from things I don't see coming; and beside me so I may lean on Him as He holds my hand. Although nobody can ever replace my dad, He has placed magnificent people in my life who genuinely love & care for me as he did (what a wonderful feeling). Oh & yes He spoils me... Favor!

I sit and think at times what more can a girl ask for. I've experienced God for myself and understand what it means to be His child. This is why I say I'm a Double Dose Daddy's Girl. My earthly & heavenly father are THEE BEST! Although things don't always go my way and I don't always understand God's response, I'm truly overwhelmed by His love. I'll tell you this, without God, there is no telling where this situation would have lead me. Yet, I'm still here! Great thing about God is He can be your father too! He wants a real relationship with you. It's your choice. He wants to be there for you as He is for me. I'm just His baby girl, lol :o) ... Try Him!

Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted. Matthew 5:4

He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds. Psalm 147:3

...for when I am weak, then am I strong. 2 Corinthians 12:10

Changing the world one blog at a time...

--AshMac